Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
创意执行比创意本身差的不少，笑话卖傻的烂梗太多。比较有意思的是特效返老还童的Cage看起来演技也有年轻水平的样子，不知道是不是有给眼睛点亮。
【B-】前两幕的戏剧点安排和故事构架还是挺有意思的，可能有点借鉴《七个神经病》，但第三幕突然转变成了很普通的喜剧动作类型片套路的展开就有点失望了。第三幕平庸的故事实在是支撑不起这个想要做成带有meta意味的结局。另外前两幕对角色的情感铺垫明明挺棒的，怎么到了第三幕突然也和故事一样变得那么平庸了…
致敬自己，嘲讽自己，对话自己，审视自己，接纳自己。凯奇的演艺生涯不可谓不传奇，也不可谓不曲折。因为辉煌过，所以更需要勇气面对跌落神坛后的不堪。作为观众如果喜欢曾经那个熠熠生辉的凯奇，在吐槽多年烂片王的如今，看完本片也请接受这个迟暮的凯奇吧。虽然本片的剧本依旧···一般。【三星半】
三星半 剧本一般笑料一般但是看得津津有味因为凯奇的魅力实在无法挡，各种经典老梗最好笑还是乱买东西的设计，最后，吴确实是大师。
“有时候生活会阻拦你的爱情。”
在人生180°转弯时，还有这么多人愿意作伴嬉笑怒骂，已经是人生赢家了。
嗯，突破次元壁的一部作品，挺有意思的，凯奇迷绝对福利哈哈~~~给我的感觉就是凯奇的女儿太可爱啦~~~~~
一部三流的间谍片，套上了“凯奇演凯奇”的包装，加些不遗余力的自嘲，再附以对经典的影片的回顾，竟然就制成了一道不错的佳品。希望凯奇大叔以此片为分界线，告别烂片B级片的日子
大概有那么三五秒钟是真诚的，剩下的时间都湮没在莫名其妙之中。
感觉这几年只要尼古拉斯·凯奇的作品出来就会有人吹“翻身之作”，《疯狂父母》吹过，《曼蒂》吹过，《猪》也吹过，连《脏话史》都吹过，如今又轮到这部电影了。话说回来，凯奇要真的靠这部电影翻身，那是他的运气也是好莱坞的悲哀，这片子要说差也不差，但要说好也不至于，它和那些拉到欧洲的喜剧动作片没多大区别，也许真的是对凯奇降低了期待值，才会觉得这部电影还行吧。
凯奇值得更好的一部解构自己过气影星身份的电影。
感觉内在都是凯奇说
27.04.2022 | 这个不知道算不算是喜剧的东西并没有逗乐我，全程太尬了。近期的院线中可期待的难道只有Men和NOPE了吗。（这还要等到海枯石烂）
影片最精彩就是完全粉丝向的前三分之一，给脑残粉的惊喜，密集埋梗加上凯奇迷死人的嗓音，看开心了，由衷地为凯奇在片里的状态感到高兴！
挺好的，希望能打响Nick Cage翻身第一枪。Pedro Pascal演的这个迷弟大佬角色太可爱了，贡献了大半笑点。//看完之后果断把帕丁顿熊2和卡里加里博士的小屋加入想看列表。
一部三流的间谍片，套上了“凯奇演凯奇”的包装，加些不遗余力的自嘲，再附以对经典的影片的回顾，竟然就制成了一道不错的佳品。希望凯奇大叔以此片为分界线，告别烂片B级片的日子
算是凯奇粉的一个全家桶，可惜少送了点调味料。
尼古拉斯————————凯奇！
自我致敬 年轻的自己才能打败现在的自己 而不是反过来
剧本的设计点是有趣的，但剧情走向还是老套，虽是尼古拉斯凯奇的角色与现实互文，但更多是沉浸在电影里戏中戏的表演和各种对以往自己电影的彩蛋和吐槽，凯奇的演技其实一直在线，不过我更喜欢佩德罗帕斯卡的表演，有些对话和镜头其实也蛮有意思，以及故事中心突出“过气”演员的一丝心酸和自嘲，也带点韵味，凯奇哥，后面你要支愣起来啊！
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