Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
老乌给了她中国男人的一夜，他给了老乌一个罗马。晦涩难懂的《爱情神话》让不羁的格洛迪亚昏昏欲睡，却让向往文艺又一地鸡毛的李小姐看开了眼前的生活。老乌的过往是抓不住的神话爱情，却一生都埋在彼此心里。白老师的爱情神话才刚刚开始。
和老炮儿形成很有趣的对照，男导演不仅不懂女人，也不懂有魅力的男人什么样。
第一场群戏太好看了。举重若轻的试探和刻薄又不失有趣的讥讽完美融入了一场嬉笑怒骂中。这是普通人版的《完美陌生人》，是市井气版的《甄嬛传》。
老乌口述与索菲亚罗兰德韵事，我的心情就和在一旁听着的Gloria一样，一时不知道是真的还是假的，该哭还是该笑。果然都是满嘴跑火车的生物群体啊！
倪虹洁关门那一刻是整部电影最触目惊心也是最现实的一刻，更是最具有魅力的一刻，所有的“精致与流畅”开始有了反差，直面内心原来可以这么有力量，不得不佩服整个背景的铺陈是多么妥帖，以至于最世俗化的一幕却让人最心动。去中心化、去故事、去主题让影片提升了内在的格调，现在的电影终于可以不用去为伟大的爱情唱赞歌了，世界是很磅礴，但我选择沉默，柴米油盐酱醋茶才是芸芸众生的归宿，它可以不荡气回肠，但一样可以过的很有意思。
导演只看到了上海的表面，小资 文艺 浪漫。但上海人的底色、精神、时代气息没有抓到，柴米油盐生活化的场景只是略微体现了一丢丢。中年人的爱情除了爱更多的是处理生活。没有生活也只能是漂在空中的“神话”了。评分那么高也许是导演拍出了大家想象中的上海，但法租界不代表上海。
你要问我经验到的上海是不是这样，我觉得不是，但是纠结于还原度本来就是件愚蠢的事情。电影拍得自洽有趣，让外地人看了相信这是上海，浦东人看了相信这是浦西，闸北人看了相信是徐汇，这就够了。发明上海，让上海人都迷糊，以为自己还不够了解上海，这就是最好的上海电影。
这堆砌感好像重了些，浦东工人阶级表示难以 relate
侠气欢喜个则结尾，情敌变同盟的三两男男女女望着银幕，透出的光洒落在身上。阿拉则不知不觉融入了电影里，成为被观看的角色，字幕悄无声息上升，简单自然又耐人寻味。白辛苦不辛苦，费里尼额老多电影，吾啊看伐懂~紫亿到伐？最后《爱情神话》校对和翻译：一额是红拂；一额是夜奔
评分虚高，真的。感觉是“一群长年待在摄影棚里丧失想象力的人做出来的东西”，电影可以生活化，但是得有美感，不是流水账
这么多友邻都给好评的片子，我真不好意思地说我犯母语尴尬了，特别是在做作的美术馆背景里马伊琍和倪虹洁说着网络吐槽的陈词滥调，徐峥代表所有男编剧（不知道为什么字幕写成了导演）道歉那里，我真的脚趾抠地。认真的说，我小时候看的所有上海背景的家长里短剧（什么七十二家房客婆婆媳妇小姑）都比这剧有意思有生活。但怎么说，这片就特别现在上海那个味道，特别小红书able… //也不是没有亮点啦，我喜欢周野芒的角色，全片上海话最老派到位，最后的故事独白亮了，说起来也很能代表这片，说它假吧也有一点点真，真吧好像还是悬浮在空中，怪难受的。
“爱情神话”感动我的点在于，它的迷影情结远不止于电影本身，而是因为电影的记忆浇灌了我们庸常的现实，我们得以存续、理解他人、建立联系，而这是电影给我最珍贵的东西。缺点是女性主义表达太过生硬，大银幕上听见“我替中国男导演道歉”和刻意的一些女权宣言，有种假他人之口承己之意的感觉，片尾那个《爱说教的男人》朋友圈分享还挺细节，多拍女人欲望，少让女人讲大话，也许会更好。
费里尼的魂灵不但以文字图画的形式飘逸各处，倪虹洁在KTV见徐峥那一段，更有费式歌剧般磅礴的怪异欲念（两个女人和徐峥谈画展的光影布局也是）。孤男寡女，徐峥追逐马伊琍只是推进故事的动因，倪虹洁和周野芒的老乌才是这部电影的精神（老乌和索菲亚罗兰的故事应该取材自北京慈善大亨李春平），只不过他们一个在声称自己足够危险却在独处时收敛张扬，一个讲述自己的故事并为之心折却又推倒否认，遮掩真实免得自己像个笑话，编导没停在那里自怨自艾，有闲有心情的中年友谊才显得动人，徐峥和周野芒闹矛盾，足足用了一组镜头表示他们不愿见面，片尾一班朋友看老乌不愿触碰的《爱情神话》，一个个昏昏欲睡中主线剧情的心电图恢复跃动，这是对这段友谊最好的祭奠了。几个出人意料的转折处理的顺滑（比如儿子的性取向），音乐、调度等环节都有巧思，看得舒服
我一直觉得吃饭戏能拍对，一部作品就不会差到哪里去。这几场吃饭聊天的部分，修罗场十足，信息量巨大，又火花四溅，真的特别好看。整部电影不再是钢筋水泥味，一股子人间烟火气，真好。
有点想看，且预言是个7.5的作品。“一个女人这辈子没挣到过100万是不完整的”，诚不我欺。/已看完，有意思，台词写得真是妙，又恰到好处，贴着演员的嘴说出来，用心了。
2021年院线最佳不过分吧？(吉祥如意最佳也行)
最出彩是睡了索菲亚罗兰的林教头
预定年度最佳，目前为止看过最好看的商业电影，有趣又有深度，难能可贵。
形式的花永远掩盖不了内容的硬，这就是我对这类作品的评价～
很明显是制片人主导的影片，不这样码盘的话真的出不来。段子电影，没有属于电影的时刻，画廊里那场戏，算是舞台剧调度。情节点、亮点都零零碎碎，本身故事过于简单，强行对调男女，拼命讨好女性，甚至不比爱情呼叫转移和非诚勿扰有韵味和深度，是拿上海话的幽默做的补充。结尾打破第四堵墙的方式挺尴尬，这还是舞台剧式的，不是电影的方式。好的地方是表演上基本都找得到真实生活的支点，哪怕是年轻演员，做到了取用其特点，相当于画画用对了颜色，养眼就好，技法就不谈了。说周野芒倪虹洁演技好，还是在于角色戏剧张力足，便于施展，从这里也更能看得出用对了人的重要性。整体来说，可能是我对它期待太高，近期最想走进影院看的片，看完又要被劝退一阵。
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